A key to inner transformation is work on Essence and Personality.

I had dreams last night, “Groundhog Day” dreams of recurring events and the sense that so much of life in this realm is about keeping the flow of time intact and predictable. Our global socio-economic model is built around perpetual growth, endless growth in time. This is an absurdity but still, onward we go. 

This morning’s reading from Maurice Nicoll addressed this. “Unless I change or try to change something in myself now, it will recur. Things are not going to get better in time.” Commentaries, p1658. M says that if we see this situation, we may catch a glimpse of the precipice and look up and see the rope to grab onto. Once I see this precipice and the rope, I may begin to understand the Teachings as living and not merely know it as dead words because I know something about what I have to work on in myself.

“Only when you know what you have to work on will you know why you are doing this Work. Then you really are doing the Work, and it will respond to your inner needs. Remember always that only the Work can develop Essence. Life cannot do so. What you do for life reasons only increases Personality. What you do for reward, for appearance, for convention, for merit, for self-interest, will not influence the eternal Essence. Another quality of effort, another thinking, and emotions of another kind are required.” Commentaries, p1658

Maurice is like any other person—he occasionally gets discouraged and in a funk, and his talks suffer. Such was the case during the previous talks, which he gave around Christmas in 1952. By January 10, 1953, he had regathered himself and gave one of his stronger talks–on the topic of work on Essence. 

To begin, M recalls the New Testament command: let not thy left hand know what the right hand does. What does this mean in the context of our work on Essence? M says, “If you wish to become more conscious of what lies internally in yourself, you do not wish the small ‘I’s that live in the external divisions of Centers to try to express what it is that you are working on—what it is that you have gradually discovered you must work on—because there is something almost sacred about this discovery.” Commentaries, p1659 

This is the distinction between external and internal once more—knowledge and Being. The small ‘I’s in formatory parts of Centers cannot know anything about our internal Essence. “How can the formatory center, which is Third Force blind and therefore merciless, dictate to us what we should do? It can only say that we are bad or we are good. It works in opposites. Your heart knows much more about you than your head does.” Commentaries, p1659 

M goes on to remind us that Truth lies between the opposites and cannot be expressed in the formatory language of opposites. “There is another language, spoken by Higher Centers, that clothes itself in dream-allegories or parables [or Logia]. I do not, therefore, think that one should try to put into words what one feels one should work on.” Commentaries, p1659 

Logion 62
Yeshua says…
I disclose my mysteries
to those ready for Mystery.
So keep secret from your left hand
what your right hand is doing.

The talk continues: Maurice stresses that “Our observations and our desires concerning what we wish to be changed in us must move inwards toward Higher Centers. Only then do we receive help.” Doing things for life-reasons will not develop Essence, but doing things for Work-reasons will. When I observe myself and wish to change, this must be a wish or aim coming from the teachings. This is M talking again of internal versus external. We must do from our belief and understanding of the Teachings and our desire to live from the Teachings—otherwise the Teachings can not help us. If our effort originates from the outside, from the external, from life, it will not help in the development of Essence, our internal development. M finally concludes, saying, “you can see I am talking about something that I would rather not try to put into words.” Commentaries, p1660 

Logion 89
Yeshua says…
For what reason would you only wash
the outside of a cup?
Do you not realize that the creator of the outside
is the one who made the inside as well?

“This cleansing of what lies inside—internal to outward appearances—is to cleanse and develop Essence. This has to come first. Your Personality may appear beautiful. Externally, you may appear to be deeply religious and most pious and moral, but it is what you are internally that matters.” p1660 

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Note: All page numbers refer to Maurice Nicoll, Psychological Commentaries on the Teachings of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky (Eureka Editions:2020) unless stated otherwise. 

All quotations from the Gospel of Thomas are from Lynn C Bauman, Ward J Bauman, Cynthia Bourgeault, The Luminous Gospels (Praxis 2008)

Read the Impression introducing the Gospel of Thomas.